The Way Hindus Deal with Death

The way Hindus deal with Death:

Yesterday 28th March 2008, I had to attend the Funeral of a good friend of mine.

Anthony Charles Brunsdon was born in 1945, was a maths teacher at a Girls High School, was a great Rugby player when young and coached my sons Rugby team.

When I fell ill in the year 2000, Tony stepped in unasked as Anand’s God Father, took him under his wings and steered him through his year 12 , HSc Exams. To Tony, Anand was the Aussie bleeder as Anand always bled from his nose due to high tackles every Rugby match. Tony was the MC at Anands 21st Celebration in 2005.

Soon after Tony was diagnosed with Kidney Cancer and by 2008 the Cancer had spread to his brain and was terminal. Tony passed away on Easter Friday something he had earned as a good son, husband, father, friend and teacher.

Wife Cinthia, sons Chris and Stewart and Daughter Georgina had organised the most befitting funeral at St Thomas church. Speeches that brought a flood of tears to your eyes as well as made you feel proud of the mate you had lost for ever but whose memories would stay with you for the rest of your life.

St Thomas church was packed with about 600 mourners with hundreds more standing outside the church. He was no politician, no movie star. Just a great man and a great teacher who had taught for 40 odd years and had made lasting impressions on thousands of young men and women.

I left the Church feeling a bit sad, yet relieved that he did not have to suffer any longer and the agony was over for family and friends who had been dreading this for months.

Over all the mourners gave a fitting farewell to a nice man.

Considering I have lived in Sydney since 1976, I have spent half my life in Australia and the first half in India, there was something bugging me.

Driving back home my thought went fleeting back to the funeral I had to attend in February this year while I was in Madras. He was a relative of mine, 85 years old and had had a grand life and died in his sleep.

Family members were told that the cremation would be in the morning. I arrived at Besant Nagar with family members around 8.00am. All men were standing outside the house while women stood around the body inside and cried. By 9.00am the body was moved outside the house and placed on the ground on the drive way. We all stood around while the professional cremator ( what ever you call him ) blew the Chonk and the Bugle ( for want of a better word). He did this several times sending shivers down our spines.

I looked up at the sky and the apartments around the house. One by one curtains were drawn and windows closed shut to cut out the scary noise as well as keep the bad luck out of their houses.

The entire process was appalling, with the corpse being de robed and bathed and clad in a white cloth in the drive way. A make shift cloth curtain was used and ladies were asked to look the other way. His jewellery were removed unceremoniously. Garlands were placed on the body and close relatives walked around the body thrice and before we even realised the body was carried away by pall bearers to the cemetery for cremation.

I am sitting here comparing the two funerals and keep wondering why in the name of religion we treat our dead in such an appalling manner. No one said a kind word about the man and there were no prayers offered by family and friends.

This is a non Brahmin funeral I am talking about and the Brahmin funerals are worse. The minute a man or a woman dies, the body is placed outside the house and within a matter of minutes the corpse is wrapped in a cloth and placed on a bamboo frame and marched off.

If this bit is bad you must think of the appalling conditions at the cemetery or the new Indian crematoriums. Delapitated buildings that are filthy, operated by scavengers who ask for money for every thing. On one occasion we had to wait there with the body for a few hours as there was some mix up and one of the units malfunctioned.

NRIs I should say have made funerals respectable. Singapore has this beautiful crematorium, where the Hindu body is placed in a coffin and all rituals take place as required plus family & friends have their quiet time for prayer and farewell speeches.

A dignified farewell befitting the person who has departed for good.

India in 2008 is a Global Power with unprecedented economic boom. 

Can we Hindus not build Private crematoriums of class to give a warm send off to our loved ones. Do we have to use public facilities for burial and cremations that are filthy.
 

Don’t our dead family members deserve something better ?

The reason I was forced to write this is because at my mothers cremation I was appalled to see human and dog faeces all over the cemetery and I had to pay Rs 500 to some stranger to clear the mess.

While we Hindus plan marriages meticulously, we shun the very thought of death as we are afraid and when it occurs we have no clue what needs to be done ad how to go about it.

Does death have to be morbid and mourned or is there scope for celebrating the lives of the dear departed, every one trying to remember the good things about them ?

I dread the thought of beathing my last in India and my body abandoned and placed under the control of a dasiri. I prefer the Christian way of farewelling dead people and am glad Hindu NRIs have adopted a similar style while maintaining the Hindu religious aspects.